Wednesday my friend Danelle asked me if I wanted to be her plus one at a wedding on Saturday.
Me: "will there be cake?"
Danelle: "I guess so?"
Me: *shrug* Sure why not?"
This also gave me an excuse to go buy a new outfit, so out I went. I bought everything on clearance so I didn't feel too bad. I came home and showered got into my new black pants and pink paisley top and came down stairs to show Lisa, my daughter.
Lisa: "Oh mom. I don't love that. It looks like... fat girls clothes"
Me: "I am trying not to be so... um... glittery."
Lisa: "Mom, that's just not you, go put on something that's glittery and shows your boobs."
She's right. Glittery is just... me. I am bubbly and fun and sparkly... love it or leave it. I opted for the flowey black pants, a zebra print top and some black high heels. I wanted something different, so I had Lisa tease my hair. This ended with me just leaving it down due to the amount of wind we were having, much to Lisa's dismay.
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I don't think this is going to end well |
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Danelle shows up in, black flowey pants and a black and white top... Great we are twins. *sigh* We get to the house and we park, where we sit, because we are early. While we are there I notice a drawing of a penis on her car window. I asked her... Is that a penis? She said oh yes my son drew it on there and I just can't bring myself to wash it off.... It's been there, for TWO YEARS! WTF? Um... okkkk I get how maybe he drew you a picture in second grade of a turkey with his hand and you kept it forever... but a penis? On your car window? OH and not just one, but a forehead penis and a penis shaped like the space shuttle. Again I say, WTF? There better be an open bar...
We make our way up the driveway from hell, and into the party where they are still taking pictures. We stand there awkwardly for a few minutes. I can see the bar, but I don't want to be rude, so I wait... and wait... and wait. Finally the hostess informs us that the bartender makes an amazing tequila sunrise. Yes please! After two drinks I realize there are a lot of Guidos standing around. Um... Jersey Shore called and wants their cast back! At dinner we sat at the "inappropriate table" Named so because during the toast (heartfelt and touching as it was...) all the people at my table began asking if the wedding favors were butt plugs... Really? I may have started that conversation. I'm not sure. You can't prove a thing!
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It's clearly a wine stopper! Right? | |
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The food was amazing, and so were the conversations with the couple at the table with us. I haven't laughed that hard in months! Danelle doesn't get out much so we went home early. That's ok... It's going to take baby steps to get her up to my level of adventure.
After 5 tequila sunrises, and some bacon wrapped figs, I was feeling very brave. I ended up texting CS, and telling him I was at at Jersey Shore wedding. I didn't hear back from him for a while, so I thought well maybe he's busy, or thinks I am a tard... I ended up heading over to the neighbors for their usual margarita madness. While I was there I got a reply that he had just ended a show and asked me where I was. I told him I was at home and he asked if I was up for a drink. WELL DUH! I jumped in the car so fast I forgot to brush my hair and put my ear rings back on... I met him at the bar and we watched the karaoke for a while. I attempted to sing a song, and he was nice about my attempt, but I knew it was bad. Not up to my usual standards since I haven't been singing much I guess. We closed the bar, talking and laughing. I told him about the "I Like Glitter" story. He told me his "I like pudding" story. He told me he had a show Sunday in the park and if I wasn't doing anything I should come down. As silly, and simple, and crazy as it seems it was really really sweet, and I haven't had so much fun in a long time. He walked me to my car. There was a moment, but I'll save the details for myself! It was a perfect end to a fabulous night. I drove home giddy as a school girl!
Saturday night sure didn't suck!